Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
