...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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