I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize
