I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
