Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
