the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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