i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
