I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
