He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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