so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
