Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
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