I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
