You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
