He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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