idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
