Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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