ugly people sure do ruin things
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
