I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
