All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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