So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
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