Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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