Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
