It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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