man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize