Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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