it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
