Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
