I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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