I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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