i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
