Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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