Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize