He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
its liver damage thursday
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
