He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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