I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
