So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
