I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
my shit smells like andre
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
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