Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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