is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
