She said her name was "party"
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
