K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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