so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
