I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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