Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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