some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize