Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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