she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
