is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
