I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize