Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
