u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Randomize
