he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
