I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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