Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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