I hope mine doesn't look like that
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
