accomplished twins. life is a go
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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