I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
