Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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